Prayers….
So many of us need prayer right now. The world crisis’ amaze me. No one is “above or beyond” a tragedy or something horrific.
I thank you for checking this site still, I haven’t been as good as posting, but I’ll try to do better.
You would think that life is normal….but not really or kind of…I haven’t figured out what I want to be when I grow up?! Am I my regular daughter’s mother and a loving wife. Or am I a parent of a child with cancer, and in fear of each day and what it might bring? Maybe both.
I still follow many “hero’s” and many families that are battling this disease, losing their families, and even the new diagnosis who just joined our unique family.
For the over the last 3 years, I’ve been following Erik Ludwinski and his battle with Neuroblastoma. Originally diagnosed at a young age 6 or 7, was free of cancer for 13 years to fight the battle again in 2005. To hear from an adult, to see what he chose to try for his disease for all our little ones. So BRAVE, So CORAGEOUS, my HERO. He went to God’s loving arms this last month, please pray for his family!….
He wrote this one week before he died, and his family included this in his handout at his service:
February 3, 2010
I am not the person I used to be.
I have been on an epic road trip
blessed to have friends and family at my side
built homes for others
and tried to be their Sunshine.
I thought I could
support everyone
be the eternal optimist
keep everything in my control.
I had plans and expected them to happen.
I didn’t need help –
I was the help.
I didn’t need others’ sympathy or strength –
I wanted to be their strength.
In this whirlwind of cancer I have learned
to be honest with my family and my friends
the value of a shoulder to cry on
that it is humbling to need help
that strength is shared
and that trust and openness grow together
I still want control
I want to be the miracle so many have prayed for
I don’t want to dampen their faith.
But it is not my will that matters.
Even Jesus needed friends.
And His death was not the end.
~Erik
*****************************Here is a link to Erik’s slideshow:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClOUkKQFPvQ
Time to Fly…again
Alexis…is doing great! We spent the morning at Children’s again, even though there is no current cancer apts. We are there a lot for hearing, dental and some other after effects from the treatment.
She again needs a higher Vit. D level, not too concerning, just hard to balance, because of the one kidney issue and filtering the vitamins thru her little body.
She is swimming up a storm! Doing speech therapy! And….. I registered for pre-school in the fall. Yes, I said it, maybe it will make it easier!
She is the child who begs for school, for mommy to leave her places and has a wonderful time all the time!
Mommy, (really worried), what if’s….???? what if she gets hit in the lower torso (1 kidney, and cancer on the liver) while at school? what if she doesn’t “wipe” properly and gets a UTI (urinary tract infection) with one kidney is very dangerous? What if she runs in the rain, and her hearing aids get wet? What if she hears things she’s not prepared for?
WHAT IF?………
PRAY MOMMY! That’s the answer. She’s never been mine, nor has Austin, they are “on loan” from God. He gave them to us, and he will decide when to take them back. Same for me and hubby. Life is so dang temporary! (Thank the Lord at times)
Here is some pictures from the radio interview..when I get a copy of it, i will link it somehow…
Thanks for praying! Let’s keep praying together for all of us, and this incredibly un-predictable world!
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You have my pwermission to be doubtful at times. Thanks for sharing your concerns and doubts. We have only so many years regardless of where we are on that journey. With 74 years and some recent health issues I try to thank God for giving me the days and years he gives me. Right now I’m feeling good and Praise God for that. Enjoy those two beautiful daughters and JB. Love you Vera Blake
Hang in there lady! Trust and rely on Him! Love ya!
Jillian,
I just wanted you to know that I do check back at this site regularly not just for updates but also because so many times (like this post) I get a bit of inspiration for or insight into life in return.
So glad Alexis is confident and begging you for independence. Send her out into the world (well, a little bit at a time) with a prayer in her pocket and knowing that she is in God’s hands always.
I want to tell you again what a great mom you are and what a dear friend to share all of your posts with us. I am sorry for the loss of Erik Ludwinski - - prayers going out for all of you today.
Love,
Jeanne
Jill,
What if… she blossoms into an even more wonderful little lady and learns so many amazing new things. What if… she has a day full of fun, everyday. What if… she makes new friends, some of which turn out to be lifelong!
What if… isn’t a bad thing… just an unknown that can harbor worry if you let it or wonder if you will just trust in Him like you have taught so many of us to do. Relax a little and enjoy the path He has in store, as your darling little gift explores this world and life He has planned for her. God has healed her this far with the intent for her to branch out and embrace every moment as she always does!
Love and prayers,
Joy
Jill, as a young Christian mother you are mature beyond words. The Lord will give you more wisdom. Even Thomas doubted and he saw Jesus in the flesh. Your faith will be rewarded.
Wow,what a busy family and such a blessing.
Praying in Poulsbo,
Kathi
PS. The first day Anna Bryn went to Kindergarten,she inisted on riding the bus. I followed it and then I sat in the parking lot until class was over and followed the bus back home.
Sounds like normal “mommy” concerns, but with a few extra ones. Remember, just as you got through the bad times one day at a time, take the good times one day at a time. Enjoy them.
The Lord was given you incredible support and love. So go forward with peace knowing that the future of all of us in the Lord’s hands.
all our love and prayers
John, Marlene and Michelle
Wow Jill, Erik sounds like an amazing kid. His note he wrote really hits home on how much we all need each other for support and need God in our life. Friends are super important to have. I am glad things are going well for you and the kiddo’s. Your worrying would be considered normal for sure. All that you and Alexis have been through you have to be a very concerned mom. Just keep trusting that God will protect her and she will do well in school. She is a very smart and outgoing child so you have to let her loose and let her just be a kid at school.
Wow…All I can say after watching that precious video of Erik…
Keith seen me balling my eyes out, and asked me what was wrong…
I could barely get it out and explained to him what I was watching…
It REALLY makes you realize that petty small little things you stress about or upset you mean absolutely NOTHING… Compared to the things you have to endure and other families like Eriks…
Everytime you post something new Jill, it just brings joy to my heart at the good things happening or tears to my eyes at the sad things…
Thank u so much for sharing with us the things that so many of take for granted at times…Real eye openers for sure!
Your all in my heart~ Tabitha *Keiths’wife*
I love your girls!!!
hi Jill
I will continue as always to pray for all of you. I pray God gives you and your family continued strength and peace. May God bless all of you. I pray for the families who have lost their babies to this awful disease as well.