Alexis Grace Douglas’ PrayerSite

We went to the dentist today for Alexis.  Children’s is so great, we see Children’s dental.  Austin went with like normal.  She has seen so much in her short 4 years of life, and has always reacted to everything Alexis has been thru with strength, comfort and love.  She is so compassionate!

Today was a new experience for mommy.  Austin has never shown any emotion other than the above for what Alexis has had to endure.  I think we have had so much “normal” that I think we all have forgotten a little about what “has” to be done. 

Each member of our family has handled our experiences with living with cancer in a different, unique to us: way that we have needed to.  Austin, JB, and myself have handled it in our own way.  JB is a very private person, and you won’t see him posting his emotions on this site, but you will see mommy pour her every thought into this computer with daddy’s full support and encouragement.  This is how I “deal” and cope with things and the power of prayer and support is what we all need!  I’m not too sure what will work for Austin.  She has grown into a private person, in some ways, it is a struggle to keep her talking.  (She’s a lot like daddy)

When we were holding Alexis down today to fill her teeth (it takes not even 2 minutes) to do and is completely pain-free, but she doesn’t care for it and she lets us know!  Austin couldn’t get close enough to her to comfort her and then she turned and started crying.  I didn’t understand, this is the first time that Austin has cried at an appointment.  I told them both that it didn’t hurt and wouldn’t hurt, but it didn’t matter.

 Austin doesn’t cry very much.  I think she cries maybe once every month, she doesn’t seem to sweat the small stuff.  If she is crushed, or hurt, she tries with all her might to not show anyone (I’m not sure how healthy this is) but it is who she is.

I finally remembered tonight how I felt when Austin was the same age and needed dental work done, how they strapped her to a board and held her down.  It terrified her, it horrified mommy, and we both were crying so hard.  That is how Austin felt today with Alexis.  I’ve been so contaminated for the last two years, of knowing what must be done, although it is heart wrenching and painful; that these visits that don’t cause pain; don’t bother me nearly like they would have in the past.  My heart broke for Austin; she always wants to be part of everything, but it is my job to protect her too.  Sometimes imagining what is being done to Alexis is worse than what is actually happening, so being there makes it easier on Austin.  And it gives Alexis so much comfort, Alexis has figured out already: if Austin isn’t there….something bad is going to happen. 

On a lighter note, tonight we talked about it and Austin finally came out with her feelings of today:

“Mommy, I wanted to punch the doctors and make them let go of Alexis! I wanted to protect her!”  -

 now I think this is healthy and normal, I’m not going to encourage violence, but I have to agree, I can’t tell you how many times I have to remind myself what “must” be done and that the medical field is doing their job, and it’s not easy on them either!  And to keep my fists & my mouth to myself!

I’m so thankful the girl’s are so close, and that they love each other so much.  We are truly blessed!

Please pray for peace and comfort this next week as we come upon the testing time; again it’s unknown territory that only GOD knows what is happening in our precious daughter’s body & I pray it is healing!

“Live today to the fullest!”

* if anyone who reads this saw the news last night about JB’s little brother, Patrick (a motorcylce policeman in Auburn), getting hit and being air lifted to Harborview.  He is doing GREAT!  What an answer to prayer, he shattered his wrist and should be having surgery tomorrow or the next day;  but doesn’t seem to have any other injuries, thank the Lord! please keep him & our family in your prayers.

* To answer the one question, the wedding was at my parent’s house.  (their not really in the wedding business-sorry) & yes Kaarin & Matt have 2 beautiful boys, Owen & Simon.