Alexis Grace Douglas’ PrayerSite

Our appointment today was wonderful.  She is up 1/2 a pound.  Which puts her in the 5th percentile.  YEAH!  We are back on the growth chart!  Go Alexis!  She had a fussy day at times, due to teeth. It’s always easy to worry that it’s more than that. 

 I read tonight about another child who lost their battle with Neuroblastoma, it’s a small community (thank the Lord) but it’s still a community.  I can’t help but read their sites, I always find the same path… chemo, followed by surgery, followed by radiation, followed by relapse and it begins again.   This disease is known for progressing rapidly.  One moment it is asleep, and the next it is roaring like a lion throughout their whole body.  I HATE IT!!!!!  I read of a child who was pronounced NED (no evidence of disease)  they will never use the term “remission” for neuroblastoma. Very sad!  But was pronounced NED in one month and 2 months later gone to live with Jesus. 

I HATE THIS DISEASE!  It is easy to get caught up in the fear of it all.  I know that living one moment at a time is the answer.   Some days, no matter how great the days are, it can just eat your insides up.  I love my little Alexis more and more every day and I am so thankful for the great days!  Please pray for the fear to subside and for God’s comforting to continue in our household.  It is so difficult sometimes.  Alexis makes it easy to be happy.  I wish one day we could pretend that cancer isn’t part of our lives.  On one hand, I feel like telling everyone we meet “look at this amazing princess!  She doesn’t look like she has cancer, does she?”  than on the other hand, I get tired of the “talk”…I get tired of “sharing” with strangers.  I’ve learned to be very happy in our own environment.  I get tired of Austin playing with sick babies!  It’s a no win situation.  We’ve been dealing with our “new lives” for almost a year.  As we come upon the 1 year anniversary, there are so many emotions, re-living, and gratitude that she is with us TODAY!  I just can’t deal with the thoughts of what tomorrow might be…I can’t read any websites, without realizing that we are all on the same road, not knowing the final destination or when it will come.  That the hope I feel today, could be taken tomorrow.  I know God loves her and that He has it all under control, because I surely do not! 

Please pray for the families of these children, and the unbearable grief they must feel; the longing to hold their children in their arms; to smell their children’s head, and just to love them. 

I often hear these days from Austin “Mommy, your squeezing me TOO TIGHT again!”  I just can’t help it.  I wish I could take my family into our room, and squeeze these girls and my husband and protect them from any pain.  It is so refreshing to be able to “kiss” Austin’s boo boos and hear “Now, I’m better Mommy Thank you”  I just wish it were that simple.

God never promised us an easy life…but He did promise us the strength for each day and to be there in the darkest of hours.

You never know God is all you need, till God is all you have….right, Janyce?????

Please pray for these children and their amazing strength, and for fear to subside.

Thank you & God bless you!  It means so much to know that people are still following Alexis.  This road gets very lonely, and it helps to know that people are praying & care.  THANK  YOU!

-Jill